Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
May the power of my ass compel you!!
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
