i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I checked into jail on foursquare
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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