Do you still have your period?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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