You can't motorboat a personality
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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