Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Randomize
