i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
We were destined to go to rehab together
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Randomize
