I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize