I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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