Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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