Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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