he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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