Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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