i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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