This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
