If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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