I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
