that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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