So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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