I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
