bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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