I think I died a long time ago.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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