I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
You don't make any sense
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