you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize