Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
