My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Randomize
