so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I could fuck to npr.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
