Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
