You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
wanna go halves on a baby?
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
