i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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