Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Dignity is for republicans.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
