bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
