32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize