I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize