what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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