Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
The beer is more important than you right now.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Randomize
