There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
