i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
