Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
