remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
