this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
