so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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