if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
