so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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