Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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