cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
