I got chris browned last night
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize