please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
