he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
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