I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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