then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize