who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
