dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
