I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
