when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
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