We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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