what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
