Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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