the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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