So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
