i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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