i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
