do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize