Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
