rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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