It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
