I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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