Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize