dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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