You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
