did you get engaged???
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I am one with the molecules
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Randomize
