no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
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