you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
