My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
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