And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
