Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
