hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
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