i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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