Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Randomize
