I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
