Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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